The Best Waterproof Sex Toys for a Sopping Wet Summer

Have you ever had an orgasm while standing up? It’s the sex equivalent of patting your head while rubbing your belly. So, possible, but tricky. And like all things that are hard but totally worth it, it takes practice! Especially if you’re in the shower, which is not the most comfortable place to get off by yourself, let alone with other person(s)—despite how alluring all that merporn makes it seem. “Of course people are into it, given the warm water, the steaminess, the naked bodies in a tight space,” explains writer Anna Pulley about how to have sex in the shower, “[But] it can also be cold, awk, and even dangerous.” That’s why Pulley sought the shower sex wisdom of sometimes-aquatic porn performer Jizz Lee, who stressed that you have to make sure your shower setup can handle all of your gyrating and slithering.

Turns out, the best stuff for getting nasty in la douche are everyday items like tacky, no-slip bath mats that you can throw in the washing machine, and a metal curtain rod that is drilled—not suctioned—into the wall. This no-rust aluminum rod has earned high ratings on Amazon from over 600 reviewers for its chrome aesthetic and affordable price…

… And Amazon reviewers also vibe with this bath mat for its ability to stay suctioned in place and thrown in the washing machine for easy cleaning. At 39-inches in length, it also gives you ample room for your aquatic acrobatics.

Invest in an extra long, luxury showerhead with some horny bells and whistles. AquaDance’s affordable, high-pressure dual showerhead will let you and a partner have control over your own respective showerheads while toying with a variety of intensity and flow settings, and Womanizer—the brand behind some of the best clitoral suction vibrators out there—has just launched clitoral stimulation showerhead in collaboration with the premium German appliance brand Hansgrohe. The showerhead is already rolling in high ratings on Lovehoney, where reviewers praise the elongated showerhead design, flow functions and patterns, and easy installation. As one stan writes, “[It gave me] the strongest orgasm I’ve had in a long while and the build up was incredible, also brilliant to shower with.”

Your clitoris and your scalp will thank you—but remember that water is a crap lubricant (go for a silicone lube, and please don’t slip), and scented soap is a no-go on vaginas, unless you want to funk up your vaginal pH. I’m a big fan of Maude’s pump-endowed silicone lubricant, because it’s pH-neutral, fragrance-free, and has a very aesthetically pleasing bottle.

Then there’s Überlube, or as I like to call it, “the La Mer of silicone lubrication.” Not only is the bottle as bougie as that of French perfume, but it is truly one of the Internet’s most beloved lubes; It has earned a 4.6-star average rating on Amazon from over 35,700 reviews that praise everything from its no-stick glide to its silky feel.

Hell, you could even buy a shower bench or chair, per Lee’s advice in the aforementioned VICE article, to use if you’re bent over or receiving oral sex. (Also, it just sounds nice to have for shaving your legs??). This adjustable, suction cup-endowed plastic stool can support up to 250 pounds, but we’re also a fan of this bamboo stool for a horny sauna vibe.

Now, for the sex toys [pumps lube thrice], which are easier to bring into the shower than, say, another human—but not always ideal for getting wet. (Check that label, and make sure it’s submersible.) And, once again, despite water literally being the preferred lube of Mother Earth, vaginal penetration can be painful when H20 is the lube. Instead, try external clitoral suction vibrators such as this lightweight vibe by Dame, and this textured, waterproof “starfish” by the trans-owned company Cute Little Fuckers that you can rub all over your anus while sitting down safely. 

I love a palm vibrator in the shower. These amorphous, blob-shaped sex toys are designed to cover as much external surface area as possible on your gooch, clit, nipples, and erogenous zones. Dame’s Pom vibrator not only looks like a postmodern sculpture, but it has some extra rumbly vibrations for helping you reach even deeper orgasms.

Lovehoney also makes an affordable, splash-proof palm vibrator with excellent reviews. Not only is this bean fully-rechargeable, but, as one reviewer writes, “is small but mighty.” Toss it in your carry-on before your next vacation.

Now for the best prostate massagers, finger vibes, wands, Fleshlight mounts, everything else that can get wet from our favorite sexual wellness retailers. But PLEASE: Go cordless, because that’s not how your movie ends.

We have been simps for the luxury Swedish sex toy company LELO for ages. The brand’s devices are so aesthetic, powerful, and well-engineered that they are basically never on the bench in our sex toy rotation; it’s Smart Wand 2 is a gold-embellished, curved wand that is perfect for external clitoral stimulation. And here’s an idea: Invite a male partner to place it on his gooch while sitting down for some next-level edging. Cop it while it’s nearly $50 off at LELO right now.

Afraid of losing your grip on all of these spensi sex toys? Treat yourself to a ‘strap-on’ for your digits with this finger vibrator from Lovehoney. Having one of these suckers strapped to your horniest finger will make you feel like Iron Man, and give you the superpower of seamlessly moving around all of your partner’s horny holes. This 20-function vibe also has a slightly curved tip for even more targeted clitoral and perineum stimulation.

Cop this waterproof prostate massager from Lovehoney while it’s 50% off, and enjoy diving into its 3 speeds and 7 vibration patterns with the (very handy) remote control. As one of the 200+ reviewers writes, “the rotations feel amazing. Perfect thickness and length. Powerful vibrations and fun pattern[s]."

You can also go hands-free with your male masturbators in the shower thanks to Fleshlight, whose suction-based shower mount allows for you to temporarily install your favorite lubed tube to the wall. We have an entire VICE guide to best male masturbators from Fleshlight, but this Ice Lady is one of the GOAT-ed brand’s bestsellers for its see-through aesthetic and textured interior. As one reviewer writes on the Fleshlight site, “The possibility to adjust the suction level is highly appreciated, so you can experience WAY different sensations with the same toy.”

Have fun in your horny Atlantis, but just remember: Slow is smooth, and smooth is best when it comes to sex and masturbation in the shower. Now, squirt on. 

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.