Somebody Is Leaving Porn-Filled Easter Eggs in Florida Mailboxes

During a recent news conference, New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern said that despite the country's ongoing restrictions on non-essential businesses and widespread cancellations of every kind of social gathering, the Easter Bunny would still be free to drop off painted eggs and chocolate candies this weekend.

"You'll be pleased to know that we do consider both the tooth fairy and the Easter Bunny to be essential workers," she said, before encouraging kids to draw their own Easter eggs and tape them to their front windows. "Maybe you [...] help children in your neighborhood with your own Easter egg hunt, because the Easter Bunny might not get everywhere this year."

While New Zealanders are taking part in their own safe and wholesome spring celebrations, an amateur Easter Bunny in Flagler County, Florida has been delivering some slightly more… unsanitary eggs.

According to the Daytona Beach News-Journal, the Flagler County Sheriff's Office has been notified of at least a half-dozen plastic Easter eggs that have been placed in residents' mailboxes throughout the county.

The eggs were all filled with the same random assortment of stuff: one cracker shaped like a fish, one square of toilet paper, some kind of powdered drink mix, and "a crumpled piece of paper containing pornographic images." (In at least one of the eggs, the porn pic was attached to a religious advertisement.) All of the eggs were discovered and reported between Friday and Monday.

"The person who did this is not only a very sick individual but could actually be spreading COVID-19 by their actions,” Sheriff Rick Staly said in a statement. “We are working to identify the offender and put them in the Green Roof Inn. If anyone else receives something like this or has information on who did this, we ask that you call us immediately.”

The Green Roof Inn is Sheriff Staly's hokey name for the green-roofed Flagler County jail; two years ago, he even installed an $819 neon 'VACANCY' sign at the entrance to the facility, complete with a list of its 'Accommodations,' which include "Group Bathrooms and Showers" and "Designer Jewelry to Wear AKA Handcuffs."

"The purpose of the signs is crime prevention," Staly said at the time. "It is a warning to potential offenders that the jail is not a five-star hotel. When you get arrested, we provide the minimum accommodations as required by law. Once an offender checks in, they lose their basic freedoms [...] Hopefully when people see the signs and the list of accommodations offered they will think twice about committing a crime in Flagler County."

ANYWAY, the Sheriff's Office is currently investigating the unsolicited county-wide egg deliveries, and it is asking for any resident who has information about the perpetrators, or anyone whose security cameras might've recorded the suspicious drop-offs to email tips@flaglersheriff.com and mention Case No. 2020-32323.

VICE has reached out to the Flagler County Sheriff's Office for comment. In the meantime, maybe if you draw your own pornographic image and leave it in your window, this dirty Easter bunny will visit your place, too.