I Tried the Minion Olipop Soda and Can Confirm It Slaps
June 29, 2022Recently, always-on-point meme account Americana at Brand Memes—a self-deprecating account dedicated to dunking on all the corny and harrowing things about living in LA—posted this instantly iconic take on coastal rivalry:
Yeah, man: In these parts, we do have a giant-ass Minion overlooking the Hollywood Freeway like the Eye of Sauron, and you’re damn right we like it that way.
Have I ever watched a Minion movie in full? No! Did I know until recently that Minions exclusively speak their own language called Minionese? No, I did not!!! But do I, regardless, consider Minions the patron saints of our worldly realm? You bet I do! Which is great news, because this absolutely enormous, Minion-themed Trojan gate was recently erected a short drive away from my home! God bless LA!
So when I caught wind that OLIPOP was releasing a banana-cream-flavored Minion-themed version of its healthy prebiotic soda, I could not get it into my greedy little hands fast enough, for a multitude of reasons. One, the internet has rotted my brain, and so, as you can read above, being terminally online has rendered me Minion-obsessed. Two, I absolutely love artificial banana flavoring, and while I usually consume it in the form of Laffy Taffy or Runts (let it be known, by the way, that banana-flavored Runts are the only ones that seem to be in high demand), I have never had it in carbonated liquid form. Third and finally, I love “healthy” specialty beverages—namely kombucha, but also prebiotic sodas including Poppi and De La Calle Tepache. If I didn’t have a body to worry about, I’d chug Coke in a glass bottle all the livelong day, but we’ve got teeth, livers, and other internal organs in these parts, so healthy-ish alternatives with gut-friendly formulas are a godsend.
OLIPOP is one of the best brands out there as far as this category goes, and its strawberry vanilla and orange cream flavors were already hits in my book. I knew the banana-cream-flavored Minion edition OLIPOP would change my life forever.
Alright, time for the moment of truth. When the case of Minion soda arrived at my apartment, I was literally giddy. In this sick, sad world, I genuinely had a rare and much-needed moment of unbridled optimism, joy, and excitement. Even the can is so ridiculous that it shined god’s light upon me like the clouds in heaven had parted.
After allowing it to chill in the fridge for a couple of hours—unfortunately, my soda got lost in the mail for like two weeks and so I was a little worried about how it had been unrefrigerated for a while, but spoiler alert, it’s fine!—I decided that this delicacy deserved to be served in a vintage crystal goblet. I thought that it would come out in the same primary yellow that is a signature shade of Minion, but instead, it was more like the color of a melted piña colada.
As I brought this luxurious chilled beverage to my lips, I murmured in Minionese, Bon appétit. JK, I have no idea what the Minions are saying, ever. I tried to watch the 2015 Minions movie while writing this and quickly realized that even with closed-captions on, it frequently just reads “[Speaking Minionese.]”
Anyway, if you’re a fan of banana flavor, this thing is a smash. Like, it’s absolutely delicious, and very sweet. It’s also actually quite low-sugar, and uses stevia for sweetness, but thankfully doesn’t have that funky metallic flavor that stevia can sometimes manifest. When I checked out the ingredients list, I was shocked at how legitimately healthful it was. The prebiotic OLISMART blend comes from cassava root fiber, chicory root, Jerusalem artichokes (aka sunchokes), calendula flower, marshmallow root, cactus, kudzu root, and slippery elm bark. The soda is actually not flavored with artificial banana flavoring, but with actual banana puree, which is sort of insane and a marvelous surprise. The drink also contains lemon juice, vanilla, Himalayan salt, and natural flavors. I don’t like the saying “guilt-free,” but how about “surprisingly devoid of high-fructose corn syrup, empty calories, and stuff that’s banned in other countries?”
TL;DR: The OLIPOP Minion collab is a resounding success. It tastes like liquid Laffy Taffy, actually takes your tummy flora for a spa day, and, best of all, has a Minion on it. Beware—a little bird told me that it’s almost sold out, so grab a can of delicious, pseudo-ironic gut-health brew before it disappears. All hail our Minion overlords.
The banana-cream-flavored OLIPOP Minion soda is available at OLIPOP.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.