An (Overly) Honest Review of the Purple Mattress

A few months ago, a procession of friends entered my bedroom mid-movie night and started gasping. I’d just been sad-bragging about how stiff my mattress was, but no one quite believed me until they plopped down on it themselves. “Jesus Christ,” my friend Emma said, “do you just bounce right up to the ceiling when you sit?” Another remarked that it had about as much cushioning as a cutting board. I sat on the couch with The Da Vinci Code on pause, feeling a little embarrassed, but very seen. 

Emma, however, was onto something. Firm, springy mattresses are great for sex. Unfortunately, they’re kind of terrible for anything else. As a 32-year-old, 5'10'' woman with a long back and no more patience for neck cranks, it was time to grow up. In the past, I had considered myself a fan of über-firm mattresses; I liked that I could balance a coffee on my bed without a tray, or sit up without the feeling that I was sinking. In hindsight, I think I had only experienced ancient, saggy memory foam mattresses, and that during that era, I was just a person in their twenties who could crash anywhere. A party in the summer of 2008 comes to mind. After realizing I would need to crash at the house that night,I happily MacGyvered a bed out of two folding chairs and the infinity scarf of a girl with a Conor Oberst neck tattoo. I slept like a baby, because I was a baby at 17-years-old.

Anyway, I wanted my new mattress to feel squishy yet firm; body-huggingly soft, yet bouncy. I also knew that this might be a bit of a paradox, but I had hope. There are so many swanky mattress and sleep brands out there, and if technology has already cursed us with an NYPD robot cop, I hoped that it could at least make a cool mattress, too. 

After poring over the specs of everything from pricey organic mattresses to the specific sleep brand Mark McGrath told me about this summer in this VICE interview (Duxiana—he’s also a big fan of room sprays, BTW), I landed on Purple’s signature mattress. Not only was it on sale for $999, but it appeared to bring the best of both worlds thanks to its hybrid combination of various foam layers and something called GelFlex Grid (which I’ll get into later). It also had glowing reviews from Purple reviewers, with one stan from the writing, “It cradles me in all the right places, gone are my pressure spots, gone are my limbs falling asleep and waking me up with cramps.” 

I was tired, I was horny, and I was ready to bleed Purple. I smashed that order button, and crossed my fingers for a mattress that would finally know how to support me. 

First impressions

I live alone right now, so I was afraid of receiving a giant, immovable cube. Luckily, Purple packages its mattresses in a clear, Grimace-core tube that makes it easy to carry and store around the house: 

Photo by the Author

Now, every new mattress will have that new, slightly plasticky new mattress smell. Don’t let the online trolls leaving reviews about the scent of a big-ticket item that has been packaged to travel across the country faze you; just air out your mattress for a few days like I did.

What was rad

This is a tale of two mattresses—three, actually. I had owned my then-current spring mattress for a few years, and only fully realized that it was time to move on after spending a few weeks in California, where I had been sleeping on a plush but firm memory foam mattress. There’s more out there, I remember thinking, and I need to get rid of this $499 iron lung. But, again, I didn’t want to compromise on the smashability of my mattress. 

That’s where the unique material choices of the classic Purple mattress comes into play. Just peep this breakdown of its many layers, which looks like it’s straight out of a science textbook for middle schoolers: 

Photo Courtesy of Purple

First, you have the Durable Base Foam layer. As with all of Purple’s materials, it’s completely hypoallergenic and non-toxic. Plus, it’s dummy thicc. Then, you have layers of comfort foam for that coveted, extra squishy memory foam feel. Finally, you have the Purple-exclusive GelFlex technology, which is apparently the company’s secret to keeping sleepers cool and unbothered. As the site explains, “Unlike memory foam, the GelFlex Grid doesn't trap body heat. [It has] over 1,400 individual air channels,” that allow for a constant, even dissipation of your body heat. Props to Purple for sending over an exposed sample of the material:

Photo by the Author

I was a little afraid that the GelFlex material would feel like sleeping on a waffle iron, but it was barely perceptible (and very comfortable) when I flopped down on the mattress. I let out a long sigh of relief. Unlike my last bed, this one seemed to hug me back. This is promising, I thought, rolling around the Purple mattress like a barnyard pig without ever sinking too deep. This is the kind of mattress that supports all of my nooks and crannies, but still lets me put down pipe without feeling like I’m pounding my way down into a sinkhole; it’s why I now get into bed an hour earlier before it’s time for lights out, and the reason I wake up feeling as coddled as one of Lisa Vanderpump’s dogs. 

I invited over the same group of friends to get their honest review. My friend Sam just said “it’s perfect,” and didn’t leave it for another 20 minutes after face-planting on the bed. The big consensus was that it had the all-encompassing, bespoke support of a memory foam mattress, but with the added benefit of the GridFlex’s subtle bounce. 

Photo by the Author

After weeks of sleeping on it, I still can’t say that I really understand its powers myself. It’s kind of like witchcraft, I guess.

What was tricky 

There are easier things to do in this life than move a mattress on your own. And this mattress is heavy. That being said, I was able to vertically slide this slab around my house after positioning it on top of its plastic wrapping.

Photo by the Author

TL;DR 

Listen, I’m a tall person with a brittle spine who traditionally likes an extra-firm mattress. That being said, I’m in my early thirties now, and things have changed; I really wanted to find a mattress that both supported my bones, and didn’t give up on the kind of subtle bounce that is nice to have during sex/crawling out of the bed with a hangover. Purple’s classic mattress gave me all that and more with its unique blend of thick, comfortable foam layers and an adaptable, slightly springy GelFlex Grid technology. It is Heaven, and it is Las Vegas. It is my Purple mattress.  

Purchase the Purple Mattress at Purple.

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