The Best Inflatable Dildos (for Size Kings and Queens)

One of our favorite ways to fill the gaping hole(s) in our life has always been with a girthy dildo. But how do you know if a dildo is really going to maximize the space in your cooch or anus? You can read up on the specs, of course, but there will always be a part of us that wonders if the next dildo, or the one after that, will be the perfect fit. We Goldilocks around from rabbit vibe to rabbit vibe, when if we dug penetrated a little deeper, we could be customizing our perfect fit with an inflatable, remote-controlled dildo instead.

That’s right, folks: Inflatable dildos and sex toys exist. And Lovehoney, PinkCherry, Babeland, and other VICE editor-favorite sexual wellness retailers have curated a selection of discreetly shipped, inflatable toys that are perfect for solo play, sex with a partner, or for roleplaying as the Goodyear blimp. Plus, the graduated nature of these toys’ sizes makes them perfect for anal training, dom/sub roleplay, and celebrating the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. The devices are as straightforward to use as you would imagine (just insert and pump it up), but remember to play around with your toy before insertion to figure out your ideal toy-size-to-pump-ratio, and simply press/unscrew the release valve to instantly deflate the pressure.

Do your best Jeff Koons balloon animal impersonation, and let’s find you the perfect inflatable sex toy to pump up your sex life.

Start off with a 6-inch dildo

If you’re new to dildos in general, start off with this silicone 6-incher from Lovingjoy. It’s a bestseller on Lovehoney thanks to its arabesque shape and bulbous tip, which is designed to give your G-spot extra stimulation. As one fan writes about the toy, “It's like my little meow is being kissed from the inside. It's soft and hard at the same time and hits just the right spots!”

… And work your way up to an 8- or 9-incher

When you’re ready for a larger rod, run to PinkCherry while its Fall Frenzy Blowout Sale is in full swing for deals on this inflatable Tom of Finland-inspired dildo and this pink, inflatable G-spot wand vibrator with a 4.3-star average rating. The former even packs textured “veins” for a realistic feel, and, as one fan writes, “It's huuuuge. Had a good laugh when I got it. Definitely not for beginners! Nevertheless good quality, silky smooth feel.” Both dildos deliver on the textured schlong front, but the Bubble Yum-colored wand also packs seven rumbly vibration patterns.

A remote-controlled, vibrating inflatable dildo

Androids may dream of electric sheep, but they definitely dream of this high-tech, remote-controlled inflatable vibrator by Lovehoney. At the touch of a button, you can adjust both the inflation and vibrations of this anatomical dildo, which sits on a flat-bottomed base for even easier humping and grinding. Plus, it has balls. In the words of one pleased reviewer, “Well, I love popping my cork. That says it all […] I reached an orgasmic cyclone.”

An inflatable, weighted butt plug

Fans of butt stuff will love this weighted Colt Pumper Plug from CalExotics, which has a tapered silicone body for easy insertion, and a 1.3-ounce ball in the plug for extra stimulation. The plug can even stay inflated when the hose is detached.

An inflatable strap-on

There’s an entire VICE guide to the best strap-ons and harnesses, but this remote-controlled, inflatable number from XR Brands deserves a spot in your sex toy rotation. Not only is it 39% off at PinkCherry right now, but fans say the toy packs “strong” vibrations and is excellent for both vaginal sex and pegging. In the words of one reviewer, “The blow up feature keeps it inside your woman so she can peg you until you both cum together.”

Please your prostate with this remote-controlled plug

As sex educator Dainis Graveris explains in this VICE article about prostate milking, “On a scale from one to 100, I’d give a penile orgasm a 10 and a prostate orgasm a 100,” because while penile orgasms originate in the genitals, “prostate orgasms feel like they’re coming deep within the body” for that wash-all-over-you feeling. What better way to edge yourself and your partner into the rush than with this inflatable, vibrating P-spot toy? The curved shape is designed to fit the contours of your caverns, and you can cycle through seven patterns and three speeds of vibrations with either the button at the light-up base, or with the remote.

Have a ball

Sometimes you just need to saddle up to a dick and ride it like a rodeo star (trust me; I’ve tried). Not only is this inflatable dildo bouncy ball a stand-out White Elephant gift pick, but it sure could make fitness a lot more fun.

Happy pumping.

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.