Help! I’m Sexually Attracted to This Travel Toothbrush Kit

Fellow frequent flyers, let’s talk about the dark underbelly of constantly being on the move: the condition of your toiletries. If you’re one of those people who, like, decants all of their face creams and shampoo into perfect travel bottles before every trip and none of them ever leak and you never shed a single hair off your head and you’ve never heard of lint… well, congratulations. But please step aside, because I’d like to speak with my brethren of relatably disheveled hot people who have a frayed travel bag full of half-used hotel-sourced toiletries, a bouquet of hair ties with assorted numbers of strands hanging from them, and a travel toothbrush that never feels entirely sanitary. Not to be all 90s infomercial, but there’s got to be a better way, right, mates? How can I become like one of those people in stock photos that never has crud on their faucet or a fingerprint on their mirror?

Good news: It’s 2023, and stuff that used to be boring and utilitarian is now aesthetic. If you can’t beat the Zoomers, join them, and use the concept of Main Character Energy™ to motivate yourself to be a little tidier, more intentional, and more visually appealing, even when it comes to things like, say, travel toothbrushes. There are a bunch of fancy new dental hygiene product brands on the market, including Goby, Mode, and, of course, Quip, and they’re here to Tesla-fy the process of cleaning those weird hard things we use to chew—and, since it’s summer and we’re all hoping to pack our bags and fruitlessly attempt to escape the chains of capitalism through “vacation,” a new travel toothbrush situation is in order.

You may know Quip for its minimalist electric toothbrushes and yassified water flossers, which made even our laziest editors actually want to floss (incredible). So when I came across Quip’s almost upsettingly chic travel kit, it made me realize that I really need to un-goblin-ify my toiletry bag. 

Why do I feel like this kit can solve all my problems? First of all, it’s already an upgrade for me to be using a rechargeable electric toothbrush—with a proper cover—compared to either the novelty Burgerlords toothbrush I’ve kept around way too long or disposable electric toothbrushes (so bad for the environment, I know, ugh) I usually lug around. The cover of this shiny, buzzing beauty also doubles as a mirror mount, so your toothbrush bristles aren’t flailing around on the soap scum encircling the sink rim. This thing is BEAUTIFUL and CLEAN and DIGNIFIED, and it works for up to three months on a single charge, perfect for the smug digital nomad lifestyle I aspire to embody. Get the “Smart” version, and it will automatically track your brushing and offer timed sonic vibrations to make sure you’re covering all of your bases (teeth, more specifically). Plus, there’s that collapsible case that’s roomy enough to also accommodate all your overpriced serums, dry shampoo, and ibuprofen. 

All of this is to say, when I go on my next brain-unplugging trip, I want to feel like a proper functional thirtysomething who is taking care of their teeth with something straight of the Jetsons, preferably in murdered-out matte black or rose gold. I’m ready. 

Quip’s toothbrush travel bundles are available at Quip. 

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