Backed Hard: The Best Stuff We (Actually) Bought in May

It feels like all of a sudden we woke up one day and May was basically over (just us?). At least the end of the month means we can reminisce about all of our juiciest May shopping memories. Whether it was scoring Masturbation May deals (many of which are still going!), plundering Memorial Day weekend sales or just spelunking through the bowels of Amazon for the gear we need for a weird, epic summer, we have a lot to show you with our May edition of Backed Hard, the monthly roundup in which VICE’s editors and writers unleash all of the impeccable shopping finds they recently got their grubby little paws on (and now love).

Last month, mid-century modern bedside lamps, Teva sandals, and charcuterie boards spiked our dopamine levels and helped to prep us for Aperol spritz season. This month, we’re making protein shakes into soft serve with the TikTok-viral Ninja Creami, using Slavic toothpaste (because our gum deserve fancy European apothecary swag), and protecting our precious four-wheel whip with a bumper guard. Let’s get rollin’ and churnin’—here’s what we back hard right now, mates.

I finally joined the cult of Vitamix

For years, my smoothies, dips, and batters came straight out of a <$50 Hamilton Beach blender, and frankly, that was… fine! Although, in retrospect, it was sometimes so loud it scared my cat and did sometimes smell like burning metal. But frankly, it worked. Anyhow, I had long heard that Vitamix blenders were the Cadillacs of countertop appliances, and while I trusted that to be the truth, I didn’t feel ready to pull the trigger and commit to such a high-end swirly machine. Well, I finally got a Vitamix—the Propel 750 to be exact—and shocker, shocker, I’m obsessed with it. This thing crushes ice into slushie texture in, like, two seconds, and has all of my smoothies as creamy as Hailey Bieber’s Erewhon jawn. Going to be making piña coladas in this bad boy all summer long, no doubt. —Hilary Pollack

Stressed out? Try acupressure

This mat has completely changed my wind-down routine at night. For the uninitiated, acupressure mats are an at-home iteration of traditional Chinese acupuncture, using little plastic “stimulators” (spikes, my brother in Christ) that are designed to target areas of stress on your body. Studies are still rolling out about how they can affect health, but so far they’re showing a decrease in back pain and stress in participants, and that I can absolutely attest to; over the past few months, I’ve worked my way up to laying on the mat for about 30 minutes (I started out doing just 5) before night-night time, and when I peel myself off of it I feel as if a 10-pound weight has been lifted from my back. —Mary Frances “Francky” Knapp

Blow out your neck (not your ears)

I love concerts and clubs as much as the next gal, but I don’t love that massive ringing in your ears the next day. I must admit, I was skeptical about earplugs that would reduce (but not eliminate) noise, and Loops’ earplugs have proven me wrong. A little anecdote for you: I had my Loops Experience Plus earplugs in as I entered a bass-booming, music-bouncing club and, to my surprise, I could hear it all pretty clearly. I would not advise you to get these earplugs if you are the type of person who likes chatting all night long at a loud club because I couldn’t hear conversations for shit—but I could hear the music that evening (and whispers in conversation the next day). These babies will for sure be my plus one at any concert or club night in the future. (They’re a major staff favorite at VICE.) —Becca Sax

My favorite kitchen gadget to date

I’ve always been one of those people who can never say no to ice cream, so of course I had to get my hands on an ice cream maker. I wasn’t just going for any average ice cream maker though, I had my sights set on the TikTok-viral Ninja Creami. I now have the newly launched Breeze model, and it’s such a gem that it’s already sold out (except at Kohl’s, LOL). Fear not, the original Ninja Creami can still be found nearly everywhere (including Amazon) and is just as amazing. Expect to whip up ice cream, sorbet, gelato, milkshakes, smoothie bowls, and even “healthy” protein ice cream in just a few minutes. —Nicolette Accardi

Make flossing suck less

I do my best to brush at least twice daily, rinse with mouthwash, and (my addiction to black coffee and red wine notwithstanding) generally keep my teeth as pearly white as possible. That said, I’ve always hated flossing; even though I try to stay on top of it, it’s very easy to “forget” unless I’m looking right at a roll of floss on my bathroom counter right as I’m getting ready for bed. Recently, a friend showed me these flossers from Plackers. Instead of winding feet of floss around my fingers like I’m about to garrote my teeth and gums, these tools make getting in the grooves easier than ever—especially with the integrated toothpick that folds out from the base of the handle. With summer vacation season on the horizon, I have started to throw a few of these in my toiletries bag and leave the massive roll of twine in the bathroom drawer. —Gregory Babcock

The magic elixirs helping my hot girl tummy troubles

Once you turn 30, it’s like someone pulled the emergency stop on the treadmill while you’re still going eight miles per hour. You feel the same on the inside, but then slowly you start getting weird aches and pains, nausea, bloating, and fatigue. I’m serious—one day the weird little problems just start and never stop. For the past few months, I’ve been experiencing discomfort regularly after eating or drinking anything (we’re talking heartburn, crazy bloating, sometimes nausea), and finally I decided I should quell the 80-year-old Jewish man in my stomach screaming for Tums and be proactive. After reading about Elix’s herbal benefits, I tried both Ginger Aide and Zoey’s Digestif elixirs praying for some relief, but not expecting a miracle. I’ve been pleasantly surprised how much a regular dose of Ginger Aide in my water and even emergency doses of Zoey’s Digestif taken in the heat of post-meal agony have calmed my most extreme symptoms and I feel less bloated and nauseous overall. —Becca Blasdel

Protecting all the junk in my trunk

After a friend dinged up my beloved ride, they offered to fix all of my vintage Subaru’s bumps and bruises. Thankfully, after a few weeks at the mechanic, my car looks brand new again. Feeling protective, I barely wanted to let my dog into the back seat, let alone park it on the vicious streets of Brooklyn again. Knowing that having a car in New York means I’m always at least a little bit at risk of another dinger, I finally got around to getting myself a rubber bumper guard. I went with this universal one from Amazon because I didn’t want to measure wrong and ruin my entire day trying to fit it on my car. I am happy to say it took me less than two minutes to put on (and now I can sleep at night). —Becca Blasdel

My fancy Slavic toothpaste

I didn’t expect a passion for fancy toothpastes to be in my cards for 2023, but here we are. I’m obsessed with this bougie toothpaste from an Eastern European brand called Linhart, because it’s not filled with weird gunk and coloring; instead, Linhart is made with three enamel-protecting ingredients (theobromine, fluoride, and xylitol) that are blended together with soothing aloe vera, and a hint of anise and mint. It’s one of the few toothpastes that doesn’t hurt my sensitive chompers, and it always feels luxurious to use with its bright orange tube and uniquely shaped hexagonal cap. Not that anyone asked, but the brand's history is also pretty amazing: Linhart was founded in Prague in 1929 by Ernest Linhart, a recent medical school graduate who would go on to serve in the Czechoslovakian resistance. Just something to think about the next time you brush before bed. —Mary Frances “Francky” Knapp

Dogs hike too

Hiking is always more fun when you do it with your best friend, and by best friend, I mean my dog, Nugget. What isn’t so fun when I have to lug both of our hiking equipment in my backpack. I love that Ruffwear’s lightweight trail vest allows her to take some responsibility for her belongings, allowing her to carry her own equipment (without  being too bulky). The built-in zippered pockets allow her to carry her own water and water bowl as well as her other necessities like poop bags and treats. Let your dog have some independence. —Becca Sax

The perfect tiny white tank

Like my esteemed colleague, VICE senior staff writer Mary Frances Knapp, I am forever in pursuit of the best white tank top. It’s hard out there, man—there are a lot of variables! Shoulder cut, armpit hole size, length; all of these things matter. Well, right now, I’ve found the tiny, tight white tank top of my dreams, and it comes courtesy of none other than SKIMS, the loungewear brand of Ms. Kim Kardashian (that is, surprisingly or not, chock full of amazing basics). It’s cropped, snug, and as delightful for wearing while lazing about the house as for letting show under a Baz-Luhrmann’s-Romeo colorful button down. Pro tips: Get the matching Cotton Rib Thong, and free the nip. —Hilary Pollack

Comfy, cozy, Jambys

If you want versatility, Jambys are for you. Essentially, they’re house shorts (aka boxers) with pockets, and let me tell ya, Jambys are so freaking comfy. They feel like a super-soft microfiber boxer—but look like athleisure shorts—so I can toss them on whether I'm watching a Criminal Minds marathon or running to get a BEC (that’s baconeggncheese, y’all) around the corner. They have nice, deep pockets with a divider in the middle for coins and keys, and I love how they fall in the middle of the thigh, well above the knee. 10/10 loungewear.  —Becca Sax

A different kind of summer reading

As someone who reads other folks’ writing as a full-time job, I’m not someone who has a ton of literature on my “summer reading list.” When I stumbled upon Penguin Classics’ Marvel Collection however, I think I found the perfect perspective on “light reading” that I was looking for. Far from just a compilation of comic books, Penguin Classics’ Marvel Collection recontextualizes some of Marvel Comics’ biggest superheroes (think Captain America, Spider-Man, and Black Panther) as icons of the larger American literary and cultural canon. In other words: Comic books aren’t just cheap-and-cheerful picture books for kids, but foundational to American pop culture writ large. Packed with insightful commentary and historical context, these books aren’t just an introduction to some of the world’s most recognizable characters, but a refreshing way to take in the source material behind some of Marvel’s past and present summer blockbusters. —Gregory Babcock

The internet-famous liquid vitamins

A few months ago, my friend Beth mentioned that she had started taking liquid multivitamins in the morning and that she was subsequently “feeling amazing!” after months of sluggishness and a lack of pep in her step. Turns out she was talking about MaryRuth’s Liquid Morning Multivitamin, a TikTok-famous syrupy concoction loaded with all kinds of good-for-you vitamins, minerals, and extras. This stuff has become a source of curiosity and wonder on the internet for purportedly having all kinds of wild benefits, with some people even claiming it turned their hair from grey back to its original color (personally skeptical on that one, but intriguing nonetheless).  I started taking MaryRuth’s shortly thereafter, and while I am definitely still getting my roots covered, I do feel like they give me a little extra dose of healthy energy, bounce, and knowledge that I’ve gotten a grip of B vitamins from a couple of spoonfuls of raspberry-flavored goo. —Hilary Pollack

Don’t end up with doo-doo on your hands

Poop bags are one of those things that you don’t really think about… until you run out of them and quickly buy a pack at the dollar store that totally suck. TL;DR: You end up with literal shit on your hands. Hasn’t happened to you? Congratulations. After receiving a large order of Earth Rated wipes, poop bags, and a bag dispenser, it finally dawned on me that I had been making my life 100 times more difficult for no reason. In this case, springing for the slightly pricier, natural option—which is now made with 65% certified post-consumer recycled plastic, is the way to go. —Becca Blasdel

Don’t forget: Father’s Day is in just over two weeks (so cop a present for your dad to thank him for his faithful years as head Grill Master).

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.