A Power Ranking of La Colombe’s Cold Brew Coffee

It might sound crazy, but in ye olden days of java, people actually made their own coffee. They woke up with the sunrise, ground up some beans, set up a pour over or smashed the “brew” button on a drip machine, and waited for the hot, brown bean water to flow. Living in Medieval times (or the show Yellowstone), however, we are not—at least not anymore. Making coffee? I haven’t heard that name in years.

I’m going to keep it short and sweet, because why spill hundreds of words when you already know that cold brew rules? (Also keeping it brief because I drank a shitload of coffee this morning in preparation for this ode to cold brew.) We are entering Taurus season, and with it, cold brew szn is upon us. That’s right—this is a call to arms: Abandon your coffee gear, ye who have better shit to do, and stock your fridge with cold brew. Thus, a power ranking of our fave cold brew options from La Colombe.

3. Cold Brew on Tap

A gallon of cold brew. In your fridge. It’s a huge box of cold brew in your fridge. I’m having a panic attack just thinking about it. Blood pressure rising. Am I out of oat milk? Do I even have ice? I don’t need ice. How many glasses have I had? Where are cinnamon rolls? Maybe I should not get a gallon of cold brew.

2. Nitro Cold Brew with Lemon

You’re in Italy. You’re hot, and sitting at a gorgeous cafe with another hot person. It’s 10 a.m. No, it’s 10 p.m. Actually, time doesn’t exist—it’s a construct. Espresso with lemon, and a little sidecar of sparkling water. You’re looking so hot right now. Holy shit, it tastes so good. Sweat. This entry was directed by Paolo Sorrentino.

1. Plain Ol’ Canned Single-Origin Cold Brew

It’s classic. It’s canned. It’s in your fridge. I’m talkin’ single-origin Brazilian cold brew, the OG. 180 milligrams of caffeine, which equals just over two cups of coffee, i.e., the exact right amount of coffee one should drink. Going to the park? For a walk? To your couch? The DMV? John Wick 4? Coachella? Bring a can of cold brew.

I’ve had too much coffee.

Pick up some cold brew from La Colombe here.

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals?Sign up for our newsletter.