The Best Fire Pits for Your Spring 2023 Conjuring

Come closer, child. Let me wipe your poppers-induced tears. Stare with me into the light-polluted night sky, crack a White Claw, and gather ‘round the patio fire pit in your old Supreme hoodie, ever the big city druid you were destined to be. The time is nigh for backyard kickbacks, BBQs, and drinks with friends, and we’re here to make sure the vibe runneth strong with your setup for moon-licking flames. Brood X demands it: The focal point of the backyard this spring must be a new, cult-ready fire pit.

But, the best fire pits are for actual houses, you may think. Or, Is there really a fire pit safe out there that’s idiot-proof enough for me? Of course there is, sweet bean. There’s a fire pit for every one of your Gemini personalities that surfaces in the spring, from a laid-back, terracotta chiminea, to a minimalist fire pit that could be in the backyard of an influencer in Calabasas. If you’re excited about being outdoors and not freezing, or telling Tinder ghost stories around a fire with your bros, we got you. And, as we continue the quest for new outdoor patio furniture (speaking of which, we've found a bunch under $100 right under this rock), we’re making a case for prioritizing the fire pit. There’s something so gratifying about owning one. It’s a very adult meta moment, wherein we realize *we* have become the beer commercial we grew up watching—only, the bulb lights are Grateful Dead bears and no one's teeth are actor-straight.

Fire pits come in all shapes, sizes, and sexual orientations. Some are tabletop stones that will make you feel like a minimalist, mountain-dwelling hermit. Some are great for camping, heading to the beach, or taking over to your friend’s place. Some run into the hundreds, but a lot are available for just a few dozen clams. It goes without saying, but we’ll say it anyway: Check your local fire pit laws. Don’t be the Mrs. O'Leary of the summer. Listen to the Allstate dude, don’t go Zoolander with your fuel, and make sure you read the instructors.

Happy conjuring.

People are calling this one a “life changer”

Behind that e-tab pile of YETI drinkware and Pendleton throws, it waits: The choicest, best fire pit online, beloved by the outdoorsy people who don’t need this article and already know that this shiny smokeless Solo Stove is the move. “Our Signature 360° airflow design creates a super efficient burn,” say its lumbersexual designers, “[so it’s] not only mesmerizing to watch, but a joy to sit around.” Thousands of reviewers have joined the Solo Stove cult, saying there’s no annoying smoke, it’s easy to carry, and that it’s actually become an unexpected, integral part of finding little ritualistic joys during the pandemic. As Sebastian S. wrote, “[It’s a] life-changer in and out [of] corona times […] have a small terrasse [sic], got the stove, wood, cold beer, and invited a buddy, yasssss!!!! best night in over a year!” It’s on sale RN, too, so this is truly the optimal moment to join the cult.

This mid-century mouth

Remember that one time you and the ghouls rented a mid-century haus in Palm Springs, and thought, Damn, how can I transport all this horny gravel and Googie architecture to my own home? This primal-feeling fireplace is your move. The only thing missing is a conversation about your tech start-up, but we imagine that’ll flow freely once this baby is lit.

“Big fire, tiny presence”

So goes the moniker of this smooooool dual log burner, which is kind of like the American Girl doll-sized version of the Solo Stove, bringing the same energy to a pit that is “slimmer than an inch when compact.” It also has a schmancy engineered airflow situation, and “a scooping base [that] allows for clean pack-down and collection of the ashes, creating the first disposal conscious fire containment base.” At under $100, it’s also one of the most cost-accessible of the lot.

Technology is our friend

Is this a real fire pit that burns actual logs and charcoal? Yes. Is there also an electric, integrated air fan that makes this fire pit look like one of those robot dogs has spontaneously combusted? Also yes. If the flaming robot dog part wasn’t enough, there’s also a grill top you can throw on here to create a “hibachi-style grilling experience.” This one feels dystopian, but I’m also, like, profoundly drawn to it. Real talk, the 360-degree floating fire vibe is cool as hell.

This is YOUR season of The Bachelor

At some point in reality TV history, two women named Jennifer and McKenzie have definitely fought beside this fire pit, and now it’s your chance to passive-aggressively sip from your Mai Tai about a nonexistent problem. It’s wood-burning, can be placed directly on the wooden deck (we don’t have), and takes up less space than most low slung, wide fire pits. It’s weather resistant, so you can leave it out with no worries.

The one you found in the creekbed

“What, this? I just happened upon this humble rock during my evening stroll in the valley,” you’ll tell your buds as they roll up to your earthy yet minimal outdoor situation, wherein this graphite stone sits on a side table by a National Parks-themed puzzle. This pit is clean-burning (it’s powered by an odorless gel fuel canister that can run for up to three hours) and a great intro-pit for beginners.

You like a nice silhouette

Maybe don’t overfill this one? Really into the Southwestern bat-ear silhouette that this steel, wood-burning tabletop fire pit provides. Also love the enigmatic instructions: “Safe for Use on Wooden Deck: Cannot be placed on a Wooden Deck.” Crystal clear.

Absolutely not overkill

Based on the Snaggletooth War Pig first designed by Joe Petagno for Motörhead, this very metal, made-to-order fire pit is the ideal patio accessory. Please propose to someone in front of it, or at least have fun stabbing bratwursts on the teeth.

Burn bright my jabronis, and don’t forget to find the sexy ashtrays.

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story.