I Tried the Beast Blender, and It Made Me a Certified Fruit Murderer
February 22, 2023I’ve had a lot of blenders in my life. I’ve had a KitchenAid blender, a KitchenAid immersion blender, a Magic Bullet, multiple Vitamixes, and another clunker from a random brand I can’t even remember. (And that’s not to mention all the different food processors I’ve also owned… let’s just say many.) It might sound crazy, but different kinds of blenders have different strengths and weaknesses. My KitchenAid stand blender was decent for smoothies, but horrible for soups. (On that note, let’s take a moment of silence for The Great Tortilla Soup Disaster of 2018. My ceiling was never the same.) My immersion blender kicks ass for soup, but I’d never use it for hummus or dough. The Vitamix absolutely rules for making peanut butter or vegan queso, but feels like overkill for a smoothie, which is why I bought my cute little Magic Bullet, which somehow also makes the most perfect salad dressing ever (panzanella gang, stand up).
This is all to say that I definitely wasn’t going into 2023 thinking, Man, what I really need is another fucking blender. Yet, lo and behold, my girlfriend discovered the popular Beast blender, beloved on TikTok, which was apparently “the best blender ever.” The thought of people obsessing over a blender on social media seems nearly dystopian to me, but it’s happening—some love its aesthetic, while others gush over the tasty smoothies they’re making with it.
I searched for it online and discovered that it basically looks like a ship from Interstellar (and has nearly a 5-star average on Amazon), so, yada, yada, yada, I was unpacking one about three days later. But even in my excitement at adding a futuristic, spaceship-looking piece to my overloaded roaster of appliances that all basically chop and mix stuff, I did wonder what the Beast would add to my life, if anything.
Is it a Beast in the sheets, or just in the streets?
This baby has six blade edges at different heights, and a 12-ribbed cylinder for blending, meaning food won’t stick to the walls, falling naturally towards its obliteration below [Tim Allen grunt]. An 18,000-RPM, 1,000-watt motor fuels the entire thing, which I believe is the same engine used in the Porsche 911 Carrera (but please don’t fact check that). Overall, [car salesman voice] the Beast is pretty impressive, both inside and out.
You can either pulse manually or blend, the latter being a one-minute cycle that revs at different speeds and intervals so your ingredients will regularly settle and mix better, which is a pretty smart feature. An internal thermometer shuts the motor off at 140 degrees Fahrenheit so it doesn’t overheat. The food chamber is made of thick, leak-resistant, BPA-free Tritan, and it feels extremely durable. Like, I feel like I could smash this thing against a wall full force and it wouldn’t break. Not going to try it, though, because I gotta keep getting my protein on, brother!
The design is also very cool—you load the cylinder, attach the blade assembly, and then invert it and lock it onto the motor; it attaches, locks, and opens smoothly, almost like a camera lens or a medicine bottle.
Is it worth the hype?
The Beast is a very solid blender. I’d been doing daily smoothies in my Magic Bullet, and the switch over to the Beast was mostly seamless. The most impressive aspects of it are, of course, the motor and the blades; once you hit the perfect proportions of solids and liquids, this thing creates smoothie-shop-worthy beverages. No joke, in a decade of smoothie-making, I’d never produced anything this smooth, which is a wild feat, considering the textual range of the ingredients I usually use. Lately, my regular breakfast smoothie has been: frozen blueberries, strawberries, and bananas, ground flax seeds, hulled hemp seeds, homemade peanut butter, cacao nibs, almond milk, and a date. The Magic Bullet—again, no shade thrown, because I truly love mine and wholly recommend it—would leave little bits of date and cacao, which can honestly be a nice treat, but ultimately are an impediment to the glass straw I use. The Beast just demolishes anything within.
This is, however, assuming you’ve hit the right combination of ingredients. There have been some blends—wherein I either won’t use enough almond milk or maybe deposited the ingredients in a weird order—where they’ll stick at the top of the blender and won’t drop down onto the blades (I can’t blame them TBH—I wouldn’t want to let go either). A couple times, I’ve had to turn off the blender and give it a little shake; but, for the most part, the rev intervals give everything space to drop down. In any case, I’ve had a 100% success rate at making delicious, velvety smoothies, regardless of the ingredients. It’s even handled some apples and kale without any of the grit or graininess you can get from less powerful blenders.
The Beast is fairly easy to clean, as well. The blending vessels can be washed on the top rack of the dishwasher, but you probably don’t need to go that far—a simple rinse and shake has mostly been enough to clear mine out. On the occasion that there’s a devastating peanut butter smear on the cylinder wall, a once-over with a sponge will wipe out all traces. The ridges do make it a little more rigorous to fully wipe down the inside, but here, “rigorous” means, like, 15 seconds of scrubbing, which is nothing to turn your nose up at. Especially when you’re about to enjoy a tasty smoothie.
TL;DR: The Beast is, indeed, a beast. It basically annihilated any fruits, veggies, nuts, and seeds I’ve fed it, and virtually never left bits or chunks. It might take a couple seconds longer than your current blender to clean (if you do it by hand), but the luxurious smoothies it produces are more than worth the time. Still, my smoothie regimen has never been more streamlined; and it’s actually pretty quiet, considering how powerful it is. The price is surprisingly low for such a good blender, so if you’re a smoothie freak like myself, consider going Beast-mode.
Find the blender on the Beast website or on Amazon.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.