Help! I’m Obsessed With This Skeleton Cauldron Candle
October 19, 2022When my sister got engaged, my dad asked me, “What about you? Are there any guys you like a lot?” I said something along the lines of, “Yeah! There’s a lot of guys I like lot.” But what I should have said was, “Yes, but no one compares to him—the skeleton-in-a-cauldron-Jacuzzi candle from Amazon.”
It is reasonable to expect that a candle should burn, but this one goes above beyond with its cauldron set-up, burning with the hellfire passion of a thousand Satans. You think I want to go through life on Goober- and tea-candle vibes alone? That’s missionary position shit, mate. If you want something that brings a little more umph to your soirée, whether you’re watching the new Halloween movie or making out with your hand of glory (no, not that one), you best get yourself a skeleton that knows how to bubble, bubble, toil, and melt all your troubles away whilst being the literal light of your life.
As mysterious as he is sexy, the skeleton candle is sold by some brand called HUMLOIV, which is also the sound we make when we light the wick on his bone(s). He’s getting so popular that folks have even started making DIY versions on TikTok and Instagram:
Sick, right? We’re too lazy to pour hot wax anywhere else than on our crush’s back, but we will be ordering one of these bois for the restroom, the foyer, the bedroom, and the holiday grab bag. It’s rare that we meet a piece of home decor that can speak to our love of Halloween, spas, and fire—so when we do, we don’t miss the opportunity to smash that order button, and maybe even fall in love along the way.
The Skeleton Cauldron Candle can be purchased on Amazon.
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