The Best Discreet Sex Toys to Bring on Vacation, You Sexy Sojourner

Do you have a big mouth, and an even bigger anus? Then you’ll probably agree that sexual discretion means many different things, for many different people. Especially when it comes to sex toys, and the who-what-when-where of using them during our travels. We’ve written a whole treatise on the quietest vibrators for getting off in tight quarters without bugging your roommates, thanks to whisper-quiet motors (all praise the Womanizer Duo). That manifesto is already a short list of many of the vibes we take with us on vacation; the lucky ones that get to bust out of the house to watch the sun—and your penis—rise above the Ibiza horizon. 

Of course, there’s this nightmare people have of going through security at the airport and having TSA pull out their foot-long schlong in front of everyone, but let me tell you, dude: They do not care. Do you really think your anal beads are the weirdest thing that has passed through LAX? Absolutely not. Never has an agent ever posed with one of my toys in front of everybody like a straight Tinder dude with his fish. They’re busy. 

But maybe you need your sex toys to be discreet in size, simply because you’re traveling light. In that case, there are plenty of BDSM accessories that can slide into your carry-on without taking up valuable space—and there are plenty of bullet vibrators, cock rings, and finger fuckers that can fit in your backpack while you climb Half Dome, you beast. 

Here are our favorites for wherever the function may take you. 

A whisper-quiet motor

These are vibrators that keep to themselves. Every single one passes the A Quiet Place test, so let’s get into it. Dame and LELO make clit-stim suction toys that get even quieter when suctioned to your nethers, but still feel nice and rumbly.

If it’s G-spot stimulation you seek, Dame’s Arc vibrator has a bulbous and curved tip that is designed to hit the spot like a pro without making tons of noise; according to the site’s specs, the vibe contains a rumbly, low-volume motor (and it’s waterproof).

Why pick between G-spot and clitoral stimulation? Reach for a combo toy instead, such as the Lioness, which is one of our favorite quiet vibrators for both deep penetration and clitoral orgasms. Plus, it gives you biofeedback on your spank sesh (meaning, what kind of orgasms you have) when paired with the vibe’s app on your smartphone.

This Womanizer clitoral and G-spot vibe is not only whisper, and I mean whisper quiet (my roommates have never noticed it), but the intensity of its vibrations are also motion- and pressure-activated. In other words, the more you want it, the more it wants you.

A smol vibrator

Sometimes, size matters. Luckily, more and more companies are starting to make smaller vibrators (which tend to be noisier in my experience) rechargeable, which is great for travel. This rose suction vibrator from Tracy’s Dog can fit in the palm of your hand, and give really great head without making direct clitoral stimulation.

Trying to make direct clitoral contact? This lilac Fingerific vibrator slides right onto your pointer digit, and can be used to please vulva-owners, the area around your booty hole, your lover’s nipples, and whatever else you deem fit. If TSA sees it, just tell them it’s a facial exfoliator.

Leave it to Maude, one of our favorite bougie sexual wellness brands, to make a compact palm vibrator that looks like an Apple product in the best way.

All eyes on me in the center of the ring

Cock rings are another discreet sex toy to take on vacation, because they don’t even have to vibrate—or even be a ring, as evidenced by this CalExotics penis lasso (!!) that costs less than a piece of avocado toast.

Lovehoney’s double cock ring is also a bestseller, because it has a smaller ring (worn around the shaft) and a larger one (worn over the shaft and balls) to keep your junk in place while the textured nub pleases your partner’s clit.

Make it even kinkier, and get cop a cock ring that’s remote/app-controlled such as LELO’s Tor 3 penis ring, which has just relaunched with a Bluetooth-enabled feature.

Carry-on sized accessories   

Depending on what kind of travel diva you are, you’ll probably be in need of a spanking once the plane touches down. Slip that furry paddle right in your carry-on luggage, and zonk out mid-flight with a sleep mask that moonlights as a kink mask. If you’re unsure about taking the full set of hogties with you, bring a simpler, more discreet silk bondage set. Garnish with some nipple clamps, and practice saying, “They’re earrings, officer,” and voilà.  

Massage and bon voyage. 

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.