The Best Planters for Adding Jazz and Pizzazz to Your Apartment or Patio

Are you a person who blackout-buys plants? Don’t worry. You’re safe here. But we are going to put a leash on that propagation station today and pause the re-potting, just for a minute, to talk about what is going on here [points to graveyard of plastic pots]. What’s the master plan for your at-home plantscape, baby? Are we going to be doing this forever? We love propagating pothos in empty bottles of Topo Chico, but only up to a point. We’re done making endless, self-loathing eye contact with the price tag of that bodega cactus (that is somehow still alive??) and ready to start investing in forever-planters. 

  The best planters are the ones that keep your plant healthy, first and foremost, with proper drainage and size. But the best planters for our personal brand are a little more interesting. They’re the minimalist ones that are so put together, they somehow compensate for the fact that we still haven't filed our taxes. They’re also the kitsch ones that could have fallen off a small caravan led by a frog in a top hat. 

We’ve broken down different design aesthetics (maximalist, minimalist, Phish-head, and more) as well as home environment needs (you have zero natural light) with a short list of some of our favorite personality planters.

You’re a minimalist

Admittedly, this is the safest way to go if you’re not sure what direction you want for your home-decor journey or when picking out a housewarming gift for someone you like (but mostly want to impress). Your keywords here are mid-century, geometric, and Japanadi, which is a blend of minimal, mid-century Scandinavian and Japanese design.  

You love Memphis Group design

With squiggles, blobs, and a general preference for shapes that make everything feel like a 90s children’s TV show, the Memphis Group aesthetic began in the early 80s and has been making a comeback in everything from candle design to planters. The trick to getting this look is knowing when to look for pops of color, form, and anything that looks like a melted Teletubby. 

You’re a novelty-bent maximalist

Your home is a slightly unhinged version of Pee-wee’s Playhouse that probably has oversized 1980s pop decor. Put the ice cream planter by your giant baseball glove chair, and hold court. 

You’re en route to the Earthship

Know thine keywords (teak, terracotta, woven; wood, basket, stone) if you’re looking for planters that make your railroad apartment feel like a California A-frame, or one of our favorite Joshua Tree Airbnbs.  

Your safe word is "monstera"

Everyone has at least one pothos that’s begging to get strapped in. Hang this in your bedroom/dungeon. 

You are Grandmother Hedgehog 

Do you ride a lily pad to work, and watch Miyazaki movies for a good weekly cry? Here ya go. 

Aesthetic grow light planters

There really need to be more planters with grow lights that don’t make us feel like we’re about to be inseminated by aliens. These manage to blast your low-light situation without feeling jarring or clinical. 

This planter is twinning with a penis sleeve?

Corporate needs you to spot the difference between these two. 

And please, do yourself a favor: Get a plant you can’t kill. 

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story.