For the Love of God, Please Stop Feeding This Dog

We enjoy a good, thicc pet: a bulbous, miraculously vertical cat with all his high-maintenance needs, the balloon of a dachshund who, thanks to a bizarre medical condition, had to be deflated. We've giggled at those beloved round bois and girls who make the hellscape of the internet a slightly more enjoyable place, knowing that their size is just what makes them special.

But on Wednesday we were introduced to one absolute unit of a pet who's caused us to take a step back and replace our kindhearted laughter with caution and concern. Behold Little White Socks, a dog in Taiwan who, somehow, grew to an unhealthy 110 pounds:

The colossal mutt was adopted by Wenhua Elementary School to serve as its guard dog, according to the Daily Mail. But over eight years since taking the gig, schoolkids, teachers, and cafeteria workers have reportedly fed it relentlessly, presumably dropping him scraps of half-eaten PB&Js and Fruit Roll-Ups or whatever sugary crap kids are eating these days. In footage from a local TV station, he's portrayed as some Godzilla of the canine world—a living incarnation of the Sandlot's beast. But in reality, he's just way, way too big.

At 110 pounds, Little White Socks risks hurting his joints, getting diabetes or heart disease (if he doesn't have it already), and suffering from a digestive disorder, among various other deadly outcomes. He's gotten so dangerously large that the school had to ask students and staff to stop feeding him and placed him on a "strict diet."

At the end of the day, the kids over at Wenhua Elementary may have loved Little White Socks a little too much, showing their devotion by sharing their bags of Goldfish and Cheez-Its with their four-legged companion. But there are other ways to care for a dog that don't include gorging them to the point of near-combustion. How about taking him for a walk? Throwing him a frisbee? Maybe see how he likes the treadmill. Play a little catch. Try swimming out for size. Just pet him, if you're lazy.

Godspeed Little White Socks. As delightfully round as you may be, we hope your schoolmates can put away their Gushers or whatever, and help you get back to a manageable, healthy size.

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