There’s a New Show Where Jeff Goldblum Investigates Everyday Objects

Having apparently hacked my dreams somehow, National Geographic has just greenlit a show where Jeff Goldblum will just talk about everyday things.

It's called The Curiosity of Jeff Goldblum and "taps into curiosity seeker Goldblum as he embarks on a journey across the globe to uncover the extraordinary stories behind the world’s most ‘ordinary’ things,'" Nat Geo told Deadline.

Nat Geo is fully aware of the dapper man's popularity, and ready to capitalize on the kind of star power that results in having a massive, shirtless statue of oneself erected in a major city. The 12-episode documentary series will literally just focus on things that Goldblum finds interesting, and his ruminations on them. "[The show] puts me in the driver’s seat, guiding viewers on a mind-blowing adventure where we break down the unexpectedly complex science behind seemingly basic things," Goldblum told Deadline.

According to Deadline, episodes will follow Goldblum's investigations into things like "ice cream, baseball, balloons, coffee, subways, cereal and toilet paper," as he figures out their extraordinary impact on our lives. Hopefully this means enjoying more of Goldblum's permanent affectation of charmed interest, and his knack for making even the most mundane of scenarios bizarrely sensual—see, also: Jurassic Park, and Thor: Ragnarok.

If Goldblum needs ideas for other ordinary objects to explore, might I submit this humble list:
- Fountains
- Shoelaces
- My apartment
- Fruit
- My feelings, thoughts, and desires
- Concrete
- Hand sanitizer
- Me
- Bees
- Velcro
- Facial hair
- Moi
- Mi
- Mich
- Drying paint
- IDK. Seriously, Jeff, if you're reading this, hit me up

Unfortunately, there is not yet a scheduled air date. But I trust that Goldblum could make even the investigation of toilet paper utterly engrossing, and I'm ready to mainline this content into my body immediately.

Sign up for our newsletter to get the best of VICE delivered to your inbox daily.

Follow Nicole Clark on Twitter.